Natural Rewards

                                                     Big Basin State Park



                                                        Natural Rewards

      Almost immediately, as one enters a natural habitat, the internal clock begins to tick more slowly. There is a sense that time takes on a completely different dimension. Thoughts of due dates, assignments or appointments fade away, as the mind slowly unwinds and begins to adopt the pace of the natural world. 

      Taking in the visual field before me I notice that to my right is a field of golden scrub grass blowing gently in the afternoon breeze, as the last rays of sunshine wash across this broad, glowing expanse. 
Looking up, I am surprised by the complex pattern of gnarled old oak limbs, with its expansive canopy from which jays and wrens roost, and woodpeckers create their characteristic designs on the ancient bark.

      The cool breeze wafts over me, and I inhale the woodland aroma of leaf, tree, lichen and earth. As the late afternoon shadows begin to lengthen, from the shrubs on my left I hear the rustle of underbrush, and into the clearing steps a doe and her fawn. Again I am reminded of the beauty of the natural world. My knitting and reading can't hold a candle to the immediate delights of Augustin Bernal Park.

       It is reluctantly that I realize it is time to leave this place of tranquil beauty. As I pack up my untouched knitting project and book, I feel I have received a very special gift of time enveloped in a heavenly place.

~Kathy~ 

Birthdays...

                                                                     Birthdays...


     Birthdays provide each of us with a built-in opportunity to reflect on our past, present and future. They are like stepping stones on our journey through life, giving us a reason to consider where we have been, and what we have learned. Then to take this self-knowledge and look at our life in the present, and ask ourselves why are we doing what we are doing. Birthdays also shine a light onto the future, and cause us to question where we are headed. 

     Recently I came across an article about birthdays, and the author shared his bucket list of things he wanted to do before he died. I read the article with interest, but found that I had difficulty connecting with this authors' bucket list. That is o.k., but it made me realize that everyone has a different set of priorities...even when faced with the thought of death. Birthdays can remind us of our mortality, but they are also a time to appreciate life, and the tremendous gift that it is. Life is such an awesome treasure. 

    As I get older, I have a deeper awareness of the rapid passage of time. This was brought home to me recently after I met a former co-worker from 32 years ago. My mind tried to flip back to the distant past, and I realized all the pivotal events that have helped to shape and form me over the course of these intervening years. Each one of us is a unique conglomeration of our lived experiences in many ways. Yet, these experiences do not define us, but are an integral part of the complexity of our being. 

~Kathy~ 

Deja Vu

                       
                                            Deja Vu


Recently I had the experience of running into a woman who I had worked with thirty two years ago. I didn't recognize or remember her, but she recognized me. 
I was very surprised that she remembered me, my name, my face, and the doctor that I worked with, and it took me back to those long-ago days when I worked in a doctor's office. 

This chance meeting set off a wave of filed away thoughts and memories about that time in my life when I was newly married, and didn't yet have the blessing of children. I was working my first day shift position as a nurse, so I was actually awake during the day for the first time in two years! 

Looking back, life seemed so simple, so focused, so unencumbered by outside events. There was a beauty in the uncluttered life, so to speak. I remember fully enjoying my work in that office, and really enjoying being an awake member of the working world. 

This chance encounter with another Kathy, raised a mirror reflection to my mind of how I saw myself in the earlier years of my life. This reflection took me back to a time when I saw life quite a bit differently than I do now. I saw things through very rosy lenses, which I no longer tend to do. Some of my nursing experiences in those years have stayed with me, and I even remember some of the difficult patients, and why they were challenging to deal with. I also remember the incessant phone calls from very demanding patients. 

As I reminisced with Kathy about those days in the office, I was also thinking about how she viewed me back then, versus how I am now. The catapult back to those years seems light years away from who I am now, and what I have learned since those office days. Thirty two years seems like an eternity!!

As we said goodbye, I sensed within me a fleeting nostalgia for my former self. There is a certain intangible quality that I wish I could recapture and bottle up. I don't fully know how to describe the essence of it. Maybe it is the naivete mixed with the ability to see always the best in every situation and person, without getting caught up in the myriad negative details. This realization is what has stayed with me since this random (or planned?) encounter. I have come to the humbling conclusion that I used to intuitively know much more than I currently do, and I need to recapture some aspects of my former self.

~Kathy~

New Life has Arrived!!!

                                                                  New Life has Arrived!


I am still wrapping my mind around the arrival into this world of our second grandchild. Baby Mary arrived last evening (East Coast time), and weighed in at 7  pounds 9 ounces! She is so beautiful!!! Whoever said that all newborns look like Winston Churchill needed their eyes checked...it is simply not true!

There is much more to be contemplated upon, and said in this blog on the awesome gift and responsibility of parenthood, but for now I think it is best just to savor these first few days after Mary's birth, and let it soak in that she is here at last!

This is a time of transformation for family and friends, as we are faced with the miracle of birth and new life. New parents are going through a tranformation as they adjust to new the new demands and schedules that a baby seems to bring with them. 

I wonder what Mary's'  personality and temperament will be. Will she be a sleeper, or awake day and night? How will she magically wrap each one of us around her tiny finger? How wonderful it is to fall in love with a baby! The adventure is just beginning!

~Kathy~ 

Awaiting New Life!

                                            Awaiting New Life!


These past few weeks I have been focused on the upcoming birth of our second grandchild, baby Mary. Waiting, hoping and praying for her safe arrival have given me an extra awareness of the sanctity of life, and of the sacred process of birth.  


Giving birth is a life transforming experience not only for the mother, but for the whole family and relatives and friends, as each one is touched by the transmission of new life. Seeing the baby through an ultrasound gives one a vivid idea of the confines of the uterus, and the miraculous development that has taken place inside. Yet, this glimpse into the mysterious world of the fetus leaves one wondering even more about what it must be like to be surrounded by amniotic fluid. One can only begin to imagine the sensory experiences of hearing everything through layers of tissue and fluid. Hearing the baby's heartbeat resonating through the medium of a doppler, so fast and rhythmic, reminds me of the vital role of the heart in being able to support all of the bodily functions.


In these last few days of awaiting the birth of baby Mary, I am experiencing gratitude for the gift of new life in our family. I am also experiencing a bit of nervousness about the birth, and all that it entails for the mother. The reward of bringing new life into the world is never without some pain, but this memory fades away as one beholds the supreme gift of a new life that has entered the world.